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There’s this stage, before what could be called a ‘major awakening’ that is rough.
Various of my friends are in this stage.
The first thing to say is that not everyone’s ‘movie script is the same, and while it might seem awfully romantic and enlivening to have all these anomalous experiences in one’s life, or to feel what some call ‘the divine presence’ in one’s life, that is just ONE ‘movie script’. There are trillions of movie scripts. Some people’s movie scripts are to get really good at planting rutabagas, to feel the divine joy of that.
That said, everyone eventually gets a turn at everything; as all Monads start at a specific coordinate, and eventually experience EVERYTHING, from creating universes, to being born an Aids baby and dying in agony.
I know it’s rough.
It’s very rough.
That’s why we have to take care of each other, as if we don’t, nobody else is going to do it for us; no sky daddies will swoop in, no sky daddy spaceships will swoop in.
Those ‘sky daddies’ and ‘sky daddy ships’ have their own problems and it’s up to us to work on our own.
Here’s a redacted bit of email that speaks of this rough transitional phase:
“Just because you don’t have visions, attract UFOs or shoot kundalini out your ass
or whatever it is you think is lacking in your life.
You are simply amazing ‘as is.’
The truth?
Your normal waking AWARENESS (not the contents of your AWARENESS) is in fact
ALL OF REALITY staying really, really quiet, as the actual fact, is that it’s not
‘your awareness’ or ‘your consciousness’.
It’s actually the exact opposite of what you write — I heard your ‘cry’ just like I hear
everyone’s.
You are NOT a ‘non-player character’!
YOU ARE THE AWARENESS THAT WATCHES THE MOVIES OF ALL THE ‘CHARACTERS’.
Just keep this in mind.
It’s a waste of time chasing after the ‘Self’ in alternate dimensions! THAT’S USUALLY THE TRAGIC ERROR.
BY CHASING AFTER YOURSELF IN ALTERNATIVE DIMENSIONS, YOU NEVER ‘FIND YOURSELF AT ALL’.
You are the SEEING EYE that cannot see itself, but trys to desperately, and so creates all the ‘physical universes, in an attempt to make better and better mirrors.
Your internal despair is the false light before dawn.
I can’t say when the dawn will come, that’s not my place.
I just want you to be aware of the situation.
Love,
Kev”
I hope that was helpful to someone in this trying period. We all experience it.
Kevin Cann
Public Domain
1/30/2025