Download the PDF here.
Overview
Alex Gomez-Marin is doing a study involving NDE experiences. I had already responded in detail, but I also included ‘cultural bias’, personal bias’, (in short as viewed through the Platonic Surrealism framework), so he has asked me to just report ‘sensations’ without any commentary.
I find the value in the scientific confirmation of the supernormal, so I’m certainly game.
Now unfortunately, my ‘NDE’ took place in 3 different time zones simultaneously apparently,
(see? That looks like personal bias) but that’s what appeared to happen.
But Alex is free to take out those parts and just focus on just the physical sensations if he wants.
I’ll put the other 2 times zones in an appendix.
Sound fair Alex?
Now actually I’m going to write this up in the Appendix first, as the genuine total case, and then strip out reductively the part Alex wants. This way we all get to benefit from this who are interested, and Alex still gets his data. He can copy/paste out or delete the ‘irrelevant subjective perceptions’ from
his copy of this content he likes.
Now in a sense this may not be a good case for Alex’s study, as it was a consciously triggered NDE, if rather by accident. And I certainly seemed to be dying or dead. But I wasn’t on a gourney in a hospital and so I have no independent verification at all, you only have my word.
Ok Alex, feel free to paste from the Appendix into this area, the stripped-down details that you want
for your study.
—- Start —
— Finish—
Appendix – an NDE Stretched Across Three Different Periods of Time
I never wanted an NDE. With just a handful of exceptions in my life, I never ‘go looking for trouble’.
Yes, I battled the ‘Magus’ in St. Paul Minnesota in front of thousands of people in 1981 and drove him out, but that was just my moral responsibility at the time. I didn’t expect I’d have to do that.
Yes, I PURPOSELY summoned a ‘Black Triangle UFO’ in 2013, but someone like Jeff Kripal would say that the ‘Universe’ which has free will, and we don’t, was going to do that anyway, and I just wrapped a narrative around it, and in a sense that’s absolutely correct. But it wasn’t an accidental UFO showing up, my ‘summoning’ was actually part of it, but then again the DESIRE to do it came out of ‘nowhere’ like ALL of our thoughts and feelings actually do, it’s not the sort of thing that Kevin
would normally do.
So that established, I did NOT want to kill myself with yoga, but that’s what happened, and as I later researched, this is EXPECTED. Do you want to be ‘liberated’ from the physical world like in Eastern Religion? Well it can be done… but THINK what you are asking for, and the most likely way that wish would be granted.
Now some have come back, and I did. But it was rough.
Ok, let’s examine the three different co-mingled time slices involved with this.
Let’s start with Alex’s raw sensory data episode first, though it was actually the last sequentially.
Nirvikalpa Samahdi Practice
Hindus make such a THING about this. What it really means is the deepest possible form of contemplation, where there is NO COLORING WHATSOEVER of the personal mind. It’s the
highest state a human can attain, and only ‘god-like humans ever do it’; then you wear funny clothing, funny hats, sit on a throne, and attract thousands of devotees, and you fuck all the pretty girls and deny it.
But that’s not who I am.
I tried to do it ‘by the book’ such as it is (generally initiatory secrets between ‘guru’ and ‘students’
and it DID NOT WORK.
So I did what I did to summon the Black Triangle UFO when all my fancy rituals seemed to fail.
I bore down HARD with my will. I mean, my will could have literally dissolved a neutron star it seemed. I took no nonsense. NONE. NIRVIKALPA SAMAHDI FUCKING RIGHT NOW, NO GODDAM
EXCUSES.
And it worked.
Ok, let’s begin the physical sensation thing for Alex.
TIME ERA THREE
——- RAW SENSORY DATA——–
Suddenly I noticed sensations of life and especially HEAT draining in reverse in my body,
starting from the bottom of my feet and travelling up in a slow wave with a periodicity of
about 30 seconds, until it reached my head somewhere.
In that instant, I felt my heart stop beating. Not slow down, it went thump thump!” and was not beating that I could tell.
Maybe it was beating very very slowly, I have no idea, as I was dead.
That was the sensation — that I was dead.
Well, let me explain the sensations I was now receiving.
I had no awareness of having EVER had a body, or having EVER believed that I was ever supposedly a body.
I was suddenly able to see 360 degrees, and I was in a vast black space, where little pinpricks of light that looked like stars, but didn’t FEEL like stars. At one point I zoomed up to one to look at it
with instantaneous transit and I looked it over. I won’t’ describe it, as that would be purely subjective.
I had a sense that I was PART OF this entire tableau, and I had no apparent body or residual body image; I just WAS ALL. All this blackness and pin pricks of light, if anything WAS MY BODY.
So yes, I had the one bit of travel sensation. The one bit of close examination of a ‘star that’s not a star’ and I even had a one sentence humorous quip made to me by ME that WASN’T me.
But this stuff is not pure sensory data stuff, so I won’t repeat this information that has been documented elsewhere.
All of a sudden, I thought that I simply MUST document all this, and in that instant, I was alive again.
—- sensory details—-
I felt like I was the entire universe in size and was being squished into this unpleasant little container. I mean, like the Genie in Alladin.
I first felt the top of my head, and instead of it taking like seconds to die, coming back to life
was INSTANTANEOUS.
Suddenly my body warmed up from what felt like rigor mortis cold and my heart went LURCH
and started beating.
That’s it. I was suddenly alive again.
— Begin Post Revival Physical Symptomology—
—-
My tongue was a swollen, dead thing in my mouth, and I didn’t know how to use it.
Speech in words was a concept that I didn’t seem to know.
But I knew that I HAD known how to talk in that awful dream (my life).
I didn’t know how to walk.
I tried to get out of my meditation chair, and I fell on my face.
I didn’t know how to walk.
Now, slowly, amazingly, after about 15 minutes I could walk and talk again, with lurches and limps and fallings over, and I seemed to be missing most of my memory.
I KNEW that I wasn’t Kevin, but that I had to go back to faking it.
I recovered 75% within a day, and my now ex-wife just glared at me and didn’t want to hear about it or care. She always just ignored me, raging mad at me, even though I paid all her bills for 17 years, but I digress.
It took a good 6 MONTHS to recover all my functioning.
I DID force my doctor to give me an MRI about a month after the event, and the MRI
was ‘clean’ and absolutely normal.
I wanted to know if I had given myself brain damage, which apparently I did not.
Ok, this is the last part of this stripped-down narrative.
— End Sensations and post-revival physical symptoms —
Time ERA TWO
As this is documented elsewhere, I will keep it short.
I was making microwave macaroni and cheese (you notice I’m always making myself pasta and that it may actually trigger supernormal experiences? When I’m making/eating pasta I’m completely happy. When I am NOT making or eating pasta I am not. My first word when I was six was NOT mommy or daddy. It was SPAGHETTI.
Anyway.
I was standing next to the microwave.
It had 45 seconds left.
Suddenly I was in ‘the Bardo’.
I watched 4 Monads say goodbye to each other sweetly (they had been merged as a single being or ‘soul’ for thousands of years. 3 of them had been founders or close disciples of major world religions and the 4th guy had hit this buddha guy in the head, wounding him in the left temple
which is what ACTUALLY enlightened him, not any sutras; but nobody special other than that.
When the lovely scene was over, I felt CHANGED, but just fine, but definitely a little sad. I had known these guys in their combined form for many thousands of years.
I think the microwave said 30 seconds now, so maybe 2 hours of Bardo time was like 10 seconds of earth time.
Now ‘Time’ felt funny during this ERA, like it was stitched together in a non-linear pattern.
I mean, did I REALLY visit the bardo a MONTH before I DIED?
I think I’ve heard it said that this is not unusual in Buddhism. I’m not a Buddhist of course,
but quite possibly a BUDDHA-MAKER, LOL.
Time ERA ONE
Maybe a month before that Bardo incident, I had a ‘full, traditional Kundlaini awakening’ as is almost NEVER reported or documented, the ‘visitor’ (the indwelling body of light/plasma lifeform/dream substance child of Kali and Shiva, whatever you want to call it)
burned it’s way out of my head. I mean I felt the intense burning in my scalp fontanelle area,
I smelled my hair and skin burning (didn’t see any smoke, but I was distracted and didn’t look for it) and most unusually I felt my skull sutures between my skull plates weaken and the skull plates and the scalp were MOVING rhythmically like some birth sequence.
Then the ‘visitor’ was gone, and I was SEVERELY DEPLETED of ‘DREAM SUBSTANCE’ and I almost died.
But again, I felt this strange ‘time-like effect.
Synopsis
I died, apparently causally linked, across three different events, that were apparently ALL
part of the same event (it was a temporal hyperobject event apparently).
The events were out of order in sequence.
I wanted to make sure I finally, faithfully, documented this.
Kevin Cann
1/16/2025